♀~*BiTtEr SwEeT*~♀

I’m sure that was kind ofan unnecessary outburst in my last blog post. Call it overreacting if you please because I guess it was. I suppose I was just caught in the moment of being angry and depressed all together, I just couldn’t find it possible to hold anything back. I’m so very sorry for that.

 It’s actually been a while since I felt as calmas I am now. All the while I’ve been having conflicts with myself and otherpeople that I just lost all self control. Anyway, I’m okay now but still on theway to recovery. I still tend to cry time after time.

Things went out of control most probably because I was always stuck home and never stepped out of the house. There were so many times in the past where I wanted to just go out and hang out with my friends but there’s always something getting in the way of it. I blame myself for that because I never really made an effort to get out. So yea, I made myself stay home until I just cracked. I have no one else to blame besides myself.

I finally made amends with Amy after what seemed like a week. Sometimes I can really get angry at her but it’s a comfort to know that she’ll be there for me when I feel as if I’m all alone. Like last night, I almost made myself stay home again when she wanted to bring me out. She told me I really needed it. I really needed to get out andrelease my stress. I told her I didn’t feel like it but she forced me to and Ithought I’d just go for the sake of pleasing her. I didn’t know that going outwith her would actually make any difference. To my surprise, it did.

For the past few days, I’ve been cooped up in my room, just crying. I will purposely cry myself to sleep so often in a day as a way for me to get away from my problems. I find it as a source of my only comfort since I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it and because talking about it would only make me more upset. So, I went into silent mode for a couple of days. I avoided any kind of contact with the people around the house. I’d only speak when I have to which I avoided all together so I merely give people a nod or a shake of my head as a respond. It was that serious.

Amy, along with her two best friends, Sai and Gracy and not forgetting Leona, an old friend, had really made my day. What appeared to be like ages, I was finally smiling and laughing again. I was talking again too! So, it’s actually thanks to them that I feel a hell lot better now. Amy, Sai and Gracy even gave me a few pointers in decidingwhat I want to do with my life. Though it wasn’t much, they did help me morethan I could ever help myself and that’s the truth. Anyway, I had a lot of fun after so long too. I’m really grateful for all their presence last night.

Last night, I’ve finally met Leona’s new boyfriend too. He seems like a nice person. Didn’t really have a conversation with him but he seems like the good thing that Leona needs now. I don’t know him but I have a feeling he’s like a cure or antidote for her. I’m sure he’s a good guy and the kind of guy that Leona really deserves. She does deserve better and I’m glad she made the effort to open up and give this new guy a chance. She seems happy too so I guess that’s a good sign.

That's it for this post. Until next time...